Is Courage Needed To Make a Change?

fear of change in my life

Hope you had a great summer!

I’m thrilled to be back and re-connect with you —ready to continue sharing our life journey together!

I’m back in Colombia after an amazing two-month visit with family and friends in Montreal. We mainly got together over good food, talking, laughing and taking peaceful walks in nature.

Today’s post is inspired by something some of them said to me during my visit.

“You’re so lucky. You get to do and see all this amazing stuff. I wish I had the same courage as you did to change my life.”

When I asked, “What change do you want in your life?”

Most of them knew but said, “It’s too late for me. This is my life now. No one would understand and I’m afraid I’ll end up alone.”

Have you ever been in this position?

I understand. I was in that exact same position before I took my first step.

Guess what?

Courage had nothing to do with it. NOTHING!

Believing that I needed courage, kept me stuck longer. I thought, “Well, I don’t have it, so I’m doomed.”

I learned that it’s okay to be afraid.

Don’t try to change your fear into courage. Accept it and understand it. In the understanding, fear will dissipate and you’ll no longer need courage.

You see, in today’s society, we’re bombarded with so much information on what we should or should not do to be successful and happy. Whether it’s career orientated, appearance, possessions, status and so on. All the new trends and expectations keep increasing more and more; faster and faster. We feel overwhelmed by the pressure of keeping up with it all and it distracts us from making choices that are real to ourselves and our happiness.

Basically, it drowns us deeper and deeper in fear and can’t get our head above for a breather to just be.

Fear of loneliness: if I don’t follow what society expects of me I’ll be labeled as a weirdo.

Fear of failure: I’m not good enough as society expects me to be and will be labeled as a failure.

Fear of loss: I may lose all that is familiar to me if I step out of society’s rules and will be labeled as a loser.

So, we shy away from stepping out of the crowd. We gather more useless information and conform to others’ rules.

Do you see the tragedy in this?

The crowd is NOT living your life. YOU ARE!

Yes, I know it is scary to let go of what you’ve been holding on to for so long and believed to be real. But, take a deep, long breath and ask yourself, “If the rules were real for me, why am I unhappy? Why am I in constant anguish?”

Let that question marinate for a moment. Don’t try to resist whatever fear arises. Make fear your friend and listen to what it reveals.

Has living with fear become familiar and therefore, living in a state of constant confusion becomes our comfort zone? In other words, have we deceived ourselves in believing that fear keeps us secure?

Our justifications and rationalizations are telling us it is so. So, are we actually afraid to find out who we are if we stopped letting fear take control of our life.

That’s where the key to living a joyful and peaceful life lies; in understanding who we are in NOTHING! Not in a status, job, possessions, appearance and so on.

When we realize that in NOTHING we are ALL, our whole existence will change.

Yes, we will still have jobs and daily responsibilities, but they will no longer be the source we depend on to give us meaning.

When you’re not comparing yourself to another to determine whether you’re good enough, you’re left with NOTHING.

When you’re not competing and constantly struggling to become someone, to achieve something or, to own something to determine your worth, you’re left with NOTHING.

When you don’t depend on another for approval to feel valued, you’re left with NOTHING.

In that NOTHING, you’re free to be exactly who you are now. From there, you can move forward with clarity.

Your mind empties itself of all internal dialogue and fear is left with NOTHING to nourish itself. You no longer judge and criticize yourself. You face yourself as you are without trying to fix yourself. Instead, you discover yourself without anyone telling you who you are or should be (which is based on their experiences, opinions and fears).

You need not go to a secluded hideout for this.

Your daily struggles, your daily pleasures, your daily responsibilities, are all your mirror to recognize your reactions and emotions. And, discover the fear that lies behind them and face it!

In NOTHING, you’re no longer wasting your energy on the nonsense of comparing, competing and depending to feel worthy. You’re left with a tremendous vitality and energy to be and live in a completely different way which will bring about change.

Again, we must first start by recognizing our fear and accepting it. Regardless of what society tells us, this acceptance is not a weakness, but strength. In acceptance, a great deal is revealed by dealing with the fact that we’re afraid. Most importantly, we effortless eliminate fear without the need to have courage.

If you’re afraid, tell yourself, it’s alright!

You know, we talk about compassion, but it must begin with compassion for oneself. We talk about kindness and making a difference in others’ lives, but how can we if we don’t begin from very near; oneself!

This is a major leap in stepping out of all the false beliefs that have given birth to fear in the first place.

Then, we can see our answers clearly and our decisions and actions will be taken without a shadow of doubt.

We will no longer go searching for passion in our lives; passion for the whole of life will come to us.

It’s not easy, I know. But, it’s not impossible. Try it and find out.

It’s your life. You are definitely worth living it!

Share
  • Facebook
  • Digg
  • Tumblr
  • Twitter
  • Google Bookmarks
  • email
  • LinkedIn
  • RSS
  • Reddit
  • StumbleUpon
This entry was posted in Do What You Love and tagged , , .

7 Responses to Is Courage Needed To Make a Change?

  1. Thank you Antonia, for your thought-provoking and inspiring writing. I agree with your ideas about how we sometimes make “courage vs. fear” a pre-requisite for chasing our dreams.

    But don’t the two go hand-in-hand? Isn’t courage “being afraid but doing it anyway”? For many (most) of the victories that have been most important in our lives, wasn’t “being afraid” what makes the victory taste soooo good? Without fear, why would we bother?

    Sometimes I really do wonder.Given a choice between “fear of failure” and “the boredom of easy success”, I have usually chosen the path of possible failure. The result? My friends think I’m crazy but I go to bed at night cherishing the hard successes.

    I’d be VERY curious to hear your thoughts.

    Have a wonderful week!
    Jerome

    • Antonia says:

      Hi Jerome!

      Thank you for stopping by and sharing your valuable thoughts!

      “Being afraid and doing it anyway…” LOVE IT!!
      Yes, absolutely! We all at some level start off scared when starting something new. (I sure did:)).
      That’s perfectly OK! If we start from there, start from where we are, without letting our minds drift off into convincing us that we must first be “courageous” we must first be without fear before moving forward, fear will continue to nourish itself and we continue letting fear controlling our decisions and actions.
      If we compare ourselves to others who have achieved success, it will rob us of discovering our own unique abilities. When we don’t compare, when we stop being hard on ourselves and judging ourselves for being scared and wishing we had courage, we accept where we are now and from there can move forward.
      So, being afraid and doing it anyway, means you’ve given yourself permission to embark on a journey of possible mistakes and falls along the way. You BELIEVE and TRUST yourself that you can get there and are able to face and learn from the bumpy road ahead.
      Like you, I learned that starting off afraid means I’m about to embark on something exciting. I look forward to the journey, the struggles and mistakes. That’s what makes the journey worthwhile, not the destination.
      Wanting to be courageous before taking the journey is a DANGER, because you’re scared, so, courage is an illusion most people have created that for most keeps them stuck. (It did for me :)).
      Thank you for sharing how you believed in yourself in facing your fear of possible failure and achieving your successes. Further inspiring us to do the same!
      Have a great week!

      • Ciao Antonia:
        I appreciate your encouraging and stimulating response to my statement. Tante gracie for taking the time.

        Pase un buen find de la semana.

        Jerome

        • Antonia says:

          Ciao Jerome,

          E ‘stato un piacere sharing our thoughts here:)

          Altrettanto!

  2. Thank you Antonia, for your thought-provoking and inspiring writing. I agree with your ideas about how we sometimes make “courage vs. fear” a pre-requisite for chasing our dreams.

    But don’t the two go hand-in-hand? Isn’t courage “being afraid but doing it anyway”? For many (most) of the victories that have been most important in our lives, wasn’t “being afraid” what makes the victory taste soon good? Without fear, why would we bother?

    Sometimes I really do wonder.Given a choice between “fear of failure” and “the boredom of easy success”, I have usually chosen the path of possible failure. The result? My friends think I’m crazy but I go to bed at night cherishing the hard successes.

    I’d be VERY curious to hear your thoughts.

    Have a wonderful week!
    Jerome

  3. Antonia says:

    Hi Michele,

    It’s great to see you here! I’m glad this resonates with you and recognize some of the truth 🙂
    It’s wonderful you felt a connection, always a pleasure to connect with you!

  4. Thanks Antonia 🙂 I did not read a post with that kind of attention for a while. Your writing style is so much more beautiful ! I recognize some of the truth that are also shared with my belief ( or religion…) . I love the way you make the mechanisms easy to understand, how you still respect those you feel are spreading lies ( so noble), how your friendship tone makes it feel as if we’re actually getting a meeting with you.