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I sold it all, the house of my dreams, my car and resigned from my job. As I am writing this, I am on my way to Argentina to start a new life. It all started when I suddenly found myself waking up in the morning dreading to go to work. I would hit the snooze button up to three times before slowly sitting up on my bed, dragging one leg at a time on the ground.
Thoughts of what my day would be like were depressing. There is more to life than responding to numerous daily emails and attending never ending meetings with no end result. I wanted to discover, learn new things and contribute all I had to offer.
I no longer felt comforted in my house. I observed everything I owned. The classic wood furniture that had taken me three years to pay off, the crystal glasses and fine china stored in the credenza never been used because I was waiting for a special occasion that never came. Did I really need half the clothes in my closet that I had not worn in years? When was the last time I used the second and third sets of pots occupying space in my cupboards? These things that had once been so important to me, had become a burden in my life.
I wasn’t supposed to feel this way. I should have been grateful for everything I had, after all, isn’t this what everyone wants? The comfort of a big house and the security of a good job. Why was I miserable now? Was I being foolish to want to let it all go?
I would not be able to tell you what I was looking for, I had been at my job for so long, I did not know where to go from here.
All I knew was that I was hungry for more
my job no longer satisfied my hunger.
My motivation level started deteriorating. I was stagnant, not growing as a person, and most of all not making a difference in people’s lives. I was frustrated, complaining about the ridiculous requests I received which I felt served no purpose. I became my worst enemy, blaming others for my work environment. Expecting them to change the way things were done, so that coming to work would be exciting. I felt like a prisoner, locked in a cell. Others were holding the key to my freedom. I let my anger, resentment, and frustration dominate my actions.
I went through the painful process of analyzing myself. Realizing that the goals I had set for myself were not aligned with my values. For a while I had satisfaction in achieving these goals. The satisfaction came from the appraisal I received from people for everything I had.
I started to visualize a whole new avenue of sharing with the world knowledge I acquired from life experiences.
I became conscious that all the circumstances that caused my frustration had come my way for a reason. I believe that we are not given anything in life that we can not handle. We are handed situations to make us stronger. I know now that the people I was complaining about, had actually come along my path as a guide towards taking a new challenge. The universe was sending me messages, it was time to explore a different direction of my contribution to others. All my negative emotions were preventing me to hear that message. It was time for me to get out of my comfort zone. I would have never done so had I not been through those circumstances. The universe ensures we face hurdles in our lives to continue to grow. We just need to be attentive to the signs, let go of our fears, insecurities and stop victimizing ourselves.
The more I thought about it, the more I realized that I would not fully achieve redefining myself with out letting go of everything that was blocking me. I had put it off long enough, nothing was going to stand in my way now. Waiting for something to happen that would bring value in my life was not an option. Doing so would only mean that I would have to accept what others decided for me. I had to take responsibility and initiative to take action towards what I truly believed in. If I was going to satisfy my hunger, the solution was clear. I wanted to be foolish, stop focusing on everything I would lose, I would gain so much more.
Here is where my journey begins. To an unfamiliar place, along a road that will enrich me as I walk it’s length. Do the thing that I thought I could never do. Gain strength, courage and knowledge as I overcome the challenges I will face along the way towards my dream.
Have you ever felt the same way? What change would you make in your life if you knew that you would not fail? Share you stories in the comments box below.